Simple Self Improvement

Father Christmas display at Gawler South Australia                Image:Marie Vonow Over the years the way one feels about the Christmas season may change. Perhaps as a child it was a time of great excitement and lots of fun but as an adult one may feel under a lot of pressure. People speak of Christmas as a time to celebrate with family and friends but for some it is just exhausting, expensive and stressful. Sometimes there are things we can do to take more control of the Christmas season.

Peaceful harp                                                                                Pixabay As I type this blog I am listening to YouTube music through headphones as is my habit when I write. I vary the music I listen to depending on whether I want something relaxing or feel in need of mental stimulation. I enjoy listening to music at other times, it is one of the simple pleasures which makes life more enjoyable. Many people spend time each day listening to music, either while they are doing something else or as they relax in their favourite spot. People travelling to work, either in a car or by public transport may listen to music to help the commute go more quickly. Some folk who suffer anxiety find listening to music as they travel on the bus or train helps quell their anxious thoughts. Many cafes and supermarkets have music playing in the background. It is quite likely there will be music playing in the waiting room at your dentist, doctor or therapist, althoug

One size does not fit all                                 Image adapted from Pixabay There are so many ideas about how you should run your life. All around there are articles on how to be happy, what your priorities should be and how to make the best use of your time.

  Time with a true friend is good for you     Image:Pixabay There are numerous benefits to spending time with those family members and friends you really get on well with. You may hold different opinions and have varying interests but that's okay because a bit of difference can enrich your life. It makes you feel good to spend time with people you like and it is a way of caring for yourself.

Sometimes the answer comes when you relax                   Image:Adapted from Pixabay Sometimes I get frustrated with myself for taking too long to make a decision. Perhaps there are times when I should be quicker in deciding how to handle a situation. However, I often find I make better decisions when I don’t force myself to make a quick decision. I like the following quote from William S. Burroughs (writer, artist, philosopher), ‘Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer.’

Are you able to identify what makes you happy?          Image adapted from Pixabay Do you know when you are happy? How do you work out what makes you happy? Perhaps you just know because of a special feeling you get associated with particular people and events. Maybe you are happiest when you are just sitting in a quiet spot or walking alone at the beach, by a river or in the mountains.

Artist at work                                                                              Adapted from Pixabay It is very satisfying to indulge in a creative activity such as writing, art, music or sewing. It is a way to express oneself and can bring joy to the creator and others. For some, creative expression is a form of therapy. Sometimes the process of expressing oneself or creating something is more important than the result.

                                                                             Adapted from Pixabay It is a great feeling to have plenty of energy. However, the demands of work, caring for a family, dealing with traffic and the general frustrations of life can sap energy leaving one feeling low. Sometimes we forget about self care or feel guilty about spending time on ourselves. We need to look at both physical and psychological needs.

There are many ways to learn new skills and many places offering courses   Image: Marie Vonow I was talking to a friend on the train the other day. She mentioned she had been given a second hand computer and didn’t really know how to use it other than for playing a few card games. Now she is investigating different places that offer computer classes. These days we are fortunate to have a variety of options for learning all sorts of new skills. These skills may be needed for employment or for personal interest. Attending a class can also be a way to network or make new friends.

Image:Marie Vonow People talk about the benefits of feeling gratitude for the good things in life. But there are times one feels there isn’t much to feel gratitude for. This feeling can descend on us when there are lots of stresses or we are weary. Perhaps you often ask yourself what is there to feel gratitude for in my ordinary life? There is another way of looking at life. Can you be grateful for what you don’t have, for the things you have escaped or avoided? Can you see the positive side of what initially appears a negative?

                                                                                                   Adapted from Pixabay One Saturday before Christmas I discovered an acronym I hadn't encountered previously, NETTEL. I was having a cuppa in a cafe in the main street and looking through the newspaper. I came across a topical article, the tendency of many time poor parents to buy extravagant Christmas presents to compensate for spending little time with their children. These parents are examples of NETTELs, those with Not Enough Time To Enjoy Life.

                                                                                                    Adapted from Pixabay Some people talk about the value of visualisation when faced with a task that invokes feelings of nervousness or downright fear. You may be preparing to attend an interview, give a talk to an audience or do something else which is taking you a long way out of your personal comfort zone. Many people suggest you picture yourself completing the task faultlessly instead of letting yourself think of the mistakes you could make. You are going to give the best speech the audience has ever heard. I recently read an alternative approach.

King William Street Adelaide                                   Image:Marie Vonow Marcel Proust, the famous French novelist, critic and essayist born in the nineteenth century said, ‘ The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes. ’ There are many things in one’s local area or places one visits frequently which one probably hasn’t ever noticed. 

                                                                                                  Image:Marie Vonow What does the word ordinary mean? According to my old Heinemann Australian Dictionary (yes the old one held together with sticky tape), ordinary means normal, usual or average. That doesn’t sound very exciting. It sounds like enjoying the ordinary means accepting things that are pretty boring and dull. Actually, it is the opposite. It means discovering the exciting aspects in everyday things that are all around and seeing what other people don’t notice. It means getting the maximum enjoyment out of every day.

Nature gives me great pleasure                                            Image:Marie Vonow Everyone gets pleasure from different things and different experiences. Therefore I can't make a list of things guaranteed to bring you pleasure. Even for myself, I have changed over the years so if I had made a list of simple pleasures about 35 years ago some of the items would be different from now. But I do know the items on the top of that list would have been an uninterrupted night's sleep, an afternoon nap and a hot cup of coffee drunk without an interruption. Yes, I had a baby back then.

A person's mind can be just as cluttered as a physical space             Image:Adapted from Pixabay The topic of clutter is frequently discussed in magazine articles and on the internet. When we hear the word ‘clutter’ we usually think of physical surplus items that have accumulated over the years. Emotional bits and pieces are another form of clutter which can weigh us down.    This emotional clutter can be in the form of decisions you haven’t made or tasks you keep putting off. This type of clutter holds you back as much as physical clutter and can drain your energy making you feel tired and overwhelmed. There are times when you know you aren’t in the right frame of mind to make certain important decisions and it is wise to leave them for a while. After a time you may find yourself able to deal with them. Sometimes these decisions are left for a long time because you continue to find you can’t face sorting them out. Every time you think about them you feel it i

Enjoy a savouring walk                                                              Image:Pixabay We have had some beautiful weather lately, great time to enjoy a walk in a natural environment. Autumn has been late arriving this year but now the heat is definitely gone. Yes, sometimes it is cold, but there are times when it is 'Goldilocks weather', not too hot and not too cold but just right. For a moment there I thought I had made up an expression but when I googled it I found this expression has been used by others. Oh well. Recently I came across the term 'Savouring Walk' on the internet. The idea of a savouring walk is to spend twenty minutes taking a walk during which you make a point of using your senses to notice everything around you. Really look at the things around you. Look up at the leaves silhouetted against the sky.  Take notice of the autumn leaves against the sky                               Image:Pixabay Stop every now

Enjoy that cuppa, enjoy the moment                                  Image:Marie Vonow What could be better? I am sitting at my computer blogging while listening to uplifting music. I am drinking my favourite coffee from a lovely mug. Every now and then I take a nibble of dark chocolate and I don’t have to feel guilty because it’s only a small bar and it’s sugar free. Also, I have read dark chocolate contains anti oxidants and boosts your endorphins. The sun is shining through the crystal I have hanging in the window making rainbows of refracted light appear on the walls of my room. These may be simple pleasures but they make my life good. I feel gratitude for these things and am living in the now, in the present moment. Eileen Caddy, spiritual teacher and New Age author said, ‘Nothing really matters except what you do now in this instant of time.’  It is easy to get so involved with plans for the future and regrets about the past that one forgets to live every moment

           Adapted from Pixabay It can take a long time to work out just who you are and to have the confidence to state simply, without apology or explanation, ‘This is who I am.’ I love the Vanessa Amorosi song, This Is Who I Am . The message of accepting yourself as you are is so important. It is expressed well in this song and I particularly like the following part -    'I don't care if I'm fat, Or if you think my clothes are bad, 'cos I can go to sleep at night, I'm a good person and I'll get by. Well it's alright to be myself, Now I've learned to stand Well it's ok to be just who I am I've spent years really hating me Longing to be friends, now I hope you can understand This is who I am.' There is much emphasis on physical appearance in modern western society. Yes, it is important to try to live a healthy lifestyle but too much importance is placed on what a person looks like. There are times we need to conform

                                                                      Image: Pixabay What does ‘individuality’ mean? My old Heinemann Australian Dictionary says, ‘The particular characteristics which distinguish a person from others and mark him out as an individual.’ Some people feel more comfortable blending in with the crowd. They don’t want to display characteristics which distinguish them from others and they certainly don’t want to stand out. There are others who love to be noticed and don’t want to be part of the crowd. When you sit down and talk to someone you will note characteristics, attitudes, beliefs and fears commonly held by others and ones which are different. You may be thinking how similar the two of you are and then they say or do something which shows they are definitely different from you. Yes, each one of us is unique. One day I was talking to someone and thinking how similar we were. Then she started talking about driving in San Francisco when

                                                               Image:Marie Vonow Self Improvement is one of my interests. I will be keeping the posts in this blog simple because I am not into complicated. Where possible I like to keep things simple. I am first attracted to titles that include words like easy, basic, beginners or quick. Book titles that include 'idiot's guide' or 'for dummies' catch my attention. If I want more in depth information after reading the simple version I will look for it, but I start with the simple. While I believe it is good to aim for self improvement, I also feel it is important to accept oneself as one is at this very moment. And live, just live in the moment.  I reckon one could miss out on so much of life if one is always trying to improve oneself. So, some posts will just be about enjoying your life, now. Update 2/11/19 I have been reassessing my writing projects and have dropped a couple of them. I considered qu